29-year-old fiancé loses $20,000 after gambling away their wedding money: 'Our wedding [is] in 10 months'

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Ben Weiss • Writer and Editor
Feb 2, 2025 2:00 PM EST

Imagine learning mere months before your wedding that you're in serious financial trouble because of your fiancé's gambling problem. Of course, this was a problem you thought had been resolved, only to learn that you're in more debt than you ever had been before. How would you proceed in this situation? 

You can't possibly open a bank account together while you're in this much debt. Then, you would have to assume his problem. You can't possibly pay for the expensive wedding you had planned when there are more imminent financial concerns. You have to put any other expensive future plans on hold as well, such as having children or purchasing a home.

This is not just a hypothetical scenario. This actually happened to a bride-to-be. Here's what she had to say about her relationship drama!

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  • This poor woman thought she finally found a lasting relationship with a guy who would never lie or cheat. Unfortunately, he ended up being a liar and a cheater, but in a different. Just 10 months before their upcoming nuptials, he gambled away $20,000, including the $4,000 gift from his parents that was supposed to be used to help pay for the wedding ceremony. 

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    My fiancé (29M) just told me (29F) this past weekend that over the course of a year, has gambled away about 20k.. and of that 20k,
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    4k was just given to us by his dad for our wedding, which is in 10 months. And this isn't the first time, this is the second. We've been together for about 4 years
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    now, and about 2 years ago, he lost 10k from gambling. This is, or was, idk anymore, the healthiest relationship I've ever had. I've never had to worry about him cheating or his loyalty, we talk things out in a healthy way, we
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    are completely in love with each other. He's my best friend. When he told me, I obviously broke down crying and gave him a little piece of my mind for lying to me for a year. That's what I find the hardest to get over. Well, either
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    that or the gambling away our wedding money. I'm trying to look at the debt like college debt, everyone has it. But our wedding money? He says he didn't tell me for so long bc he thought he could win it all back. And then
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    when he took the 4k from his dad, he told me a couple days later. I told him he has to make an appt with a financial advisor ASAP to figure out to do. We were supposed to get married
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    this year and buy a house next year. But his credit is going to be ruined and I am afraid of being linked to him financially and maritally. Obviously we can't share a bank account. I'm feeling
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    very lost, confused, hurt and betrayed. How do I move forward? How can I trust him? Can we rebuild? I love him so much and I want to forgive him.
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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • What makes this even worse is the fact that there were signs all along that this was not a good guy. The most important red flag was that this was not the first time he had done this. This man previously gambled away $10,000, and though he was performing the role of a reformed former gambler who had learned his lesson, this dude ended up gambling away twice as much money this time. This only proves that any attempts he had made to show that he was taking the steps to change were performative.

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    He said he knows this is his last chance but this time if he fs up again it's not just a break up, it's a divorce. I can't talk to anyone about this and I'm feeling really isolated. I'll take aaall the advice, thanks!
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  • We can't help but feel for this lady, but we have to agree with several folks in this online community that enough is enough. This man is not good enough for her, and there is simply no way this marriage is going to work! 

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    Palmtreesandcake. I wouldn't even think about marrying him. I've heard stories of people left in terrible debt after a divorce all because of their husband's gambling
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    elizabethjacques. Don't marry him anytime soon. There is a lot of work to be done first.
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    indigoholly ⚫ It's the trust element here. I'm totally sympathetic to addiction and clearly he needs to go to therapy and work on all of this with professional help. However,
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    the deceit is going to be hard to get over. For me, I would want to insist he saw a professional and dealt with this fully and honestly before I even considered marrying him.
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    Corfiz74. He did it TWICE! He lied to you for a year! I think it was okay to give him one chance after the first time - but do
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    you really want to tie yourself to a man who is so irresponsible? Would you ever feel safe co-owning a house with him, when he could lose it at the gambling. table any time? Would you want to have kids with him,
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    when you don't know if dad's gambling away their college fund? (Or even if you'll have money for food?)
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    I really have no idea how you could ever feel safe with him again especially since - gambling is so easy these days. You can have him blacklisted by all the casinos, and all he has to do is download an app and lock himself in the bathroom.
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    Maybe if he gave over all finances to you and just got pocket money. The house would have to be in your name, as would any savings accounts etc.
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    And I wouldn't marry him for a good long time - at least until he's earned back the 20k and NOT gambled for at least 5 years.
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marriage gambling relationships wedding entitled people karma entitled breakup toxic relationship entitled people
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